


Sweets

by pc98reimu



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst, F/M, Game Spoilers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 11:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pc98reimu/pseuds/pc98reimu
Summary: Ritsuka and Da Vinci have a conversation over some cake and coffee.





	Sweets

**Author's Note:**

> i love being sad
> 
> anyway if you haven't caught up with the JP version's story, i highly, HIGHLY recommend turning back now unless you want some serious spoilers

\---I awaken in a cold sweat.

It's a relatively cool autumn night in Chaldea, so this really shouldn't be the case.

Glancing at the clock on my left, I see that it's 4:33 in the morning. Quite a while to go until morning comes, yet far too late to attempt sleeping again. I allow myself to groan, and kick off the sheets that stick to my skin.. Might as well get up now, an early start to the day is never a bad thing...Mash would say something like that, anyway. I heartily disagree.

After rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I trudge over to the attached bathroom, and fumble around for the light switch.

_-click-_

Oh, ow. I didn't think this through, the light burns my eyes more than I thought it would. Squinting, I face towards the mirror on the wall, which is difficult to find when the world is comprised of different colored blurs. A few moments later, my reflection makes itself visible to me. Huzzah.

Unkempt orange hair, with a cowlick that simply refuses to go down. Eyes that are a pleasant shade of gold, though they look slightly unsettling when lined by bags. Fair, yet slightly clammy skin. It's a perfectly average female face, nothing more, nothing less. Yes, things are as they usually are.

Once I'm happy with the state of my appearance, I begin to run the water, stripping off the thin tank top and shorts I wore to bed while it heats. Just for a moment, I glance down at my own naked body, expecting to see it pockmarked with scars once again, but naturally there's nothing. It really is incredible what magic is capable of. Musing to myself, I hop into the shower, and get to work.

Roughly 10 minutes later, I'm out, and rummaging around my closet. There's quite an assortment of clothing, but I reach for the usual Chaldea uniform I've grown accustomed to. I rarely wear anything else, after all.

\---My hands brush against a familiar article of clothing, and a chill runs down my spine.

It's just a simple coat, teal and white, with the Chaldea logo on the shoulders. The staff wears a similar variation, but this particular coat is very dear to me indeed. There may be others like it, but it's truly one of a kind. And that's why…

I choose to switch out the belted uniform's overcoat with this one. Tugging it onto my arms, I'm reminded of why I don't wear it too often. The sleeves hang loosely off of me, and the hem nearly brushes my ankles. It was, after all, tailored for someone quite a bit taller than me. Shaking my head, I roll the sleeves up, praying that they'll stay in place. As for the hem...I really can't do anything about that, but at least I won't trip.

The clock on the other side of the room beeps once. It's now 5:00 in the morning. Was I really standing here for so long...? My hair has already dried on its own, so I wander back to my nightstand to grab a brush. Luckily, short hair is easy to maintain. I eye the bright yellow scrunchie on the table as well.

Maybe I'll wear my hair in a ponytail today.

 

* * *

 

I step out into the brightly lit hall, and quietly close the door to my room. There's nobody loitering around, as expected, no sane person would be awake at this time, but...the scent of coffee wafts through the air. Maybe I'm not the only madman here, after all. It seems to be coming from the break room just a short walk away from here. There's no hurry to get there, so my view turns towards the windows lining the hall from floor to ceiling while I walk.

It's cloudy tonight, so cloudy that not even the moonlight can penetrate the blanket covering the sky. The usual breathtaking view of the mountains has been replaced by something foreboding. This suffocating darkness, only separated from myself by a single pane of glass...no, there's no way something could be hiding out there. It's too early, so my mind is wandering places it shouldn't. I think this, and yet my pace quickens anyway. Better to be safe than sorry, so I instead focus on what's in front of me. 

After walking for a few moments later, I take a sharp left turn. The smell of coffee grows stronger, and I try to ignore the familiar room I pass by. Some caffeine could really help my now-throbbing head.

"Here we are."

For the first time today, I speak aloud, and gently push open the door to the breakroom. There's a woman in here, with long, brown hair... She turns around at my voice, though I realized who she was even without seeing her face.

"Ritsuka-chan? What are you doing up?" 

The pleasant voice of Miss Leonardo Da Vinci rings through the air. I hadn't heard another voice until now, and it's like I'm snapped out of a sort of trance.

"I decided I could use a head start today, aha. It was kind of hot in my room, anyway..." It's not exactly the truth, but it's good enough.

"Hmm. So it was. You certainly picked an interesting outfit for today." She totally doesn't believe me. That's Da Vinci, for you…

"...It looks nice on me, so what?" I reply rather defensively, which really doesn't help my case. Aren't I just digging myself into a hole here?

Instead of a response, Da Vinci turns back to the coffeemaker set into the wall, and reaches for a spare cup nearby. Seeing a servant as decked out as her doing such mundane things is always a bit mind boggling, but this is her way of comforting me, so I won't comment on it.

"Anything you're in the mood for this morning?" She asks me, already knowing the answer.

"I'll take it black, as usual."

"I thought I'd try anyway," shrugging, the servant pours out two cups of plain, black coffee. Someone else would find more use of the sugar and creamer.

"There's also cake over there - on the table. EMIYA-san made it last night, and left some spare slices for the rest of us. Jack demolished most of it, so I hope you're content with this." Facing away from me, she then gestures to the white table in the middle of the room, surrounded by equally white couches. The whole setup is rather blinding, actually.

"...Mmm. That's fine. Though, is cake really an appropriate breakfast?" The air feels a little tense, for some reason, so I make an attempt at lightening it.

Da Vinci chuckles, then turns around, coffee in hand. "I think Marie-chan would disagree with you, not to mention the hell EMIYA-san would raise if he found out his baking had been neglected. Spare us all the pain and try it, would you?" She poses a good point, and I reach for a piece, suspiciously already plated, with a fork too. There's no way it was absentmindedly left here, but I digress.

Gently plopping down onto the sofa across from me, Da Vinci slides a cup over to me, and then grabs another of the plated confections herself. This whole scene seems planned, from the extra mug to the two slices of cake left behind. Though there's no possible way she could have planned for me being awake, Da Vinci does work in mysterious ways...

* * *

 

It's 5:20 now, and we've been silently sitting here, only taking the occasional sip of the bitter drinks in our hands. Awkward.

"...You know, Ritsuka-chan," she pipes up. 

"Hmm?"

"I never took you as the type of person to enjoy black coffee. It's quite an acquired taste, not many of the other servants are fond of it either." 

An acquired taste indeed. Though, hailing from Japan, I'm used to things like this. Matcha, red bean paste, sesame seeds. Things that make up the traditional sweets of my country are often acquired tastes themselves.

"I guess I've developed a fondness for it. It's not impossible to enjoy bitter things, you know." I lie.

Really, I always preferred Western sweets. My tongue, like the rest of me, is secretly immature. Yet I drink black coffee anyway. The taste overpowers my own building bitterness inside like nothing else. It's always a challenge to drink it, so I only take small sips, eyeing the cake nearby.

"...Fuhahaha!" Suddenly, Da Vinci breaks out into a fit of giggles.

"Eh? What? Did I say something amusing?" I lower my mug and question her sudden change of demeanor.

"No, no, it's nothing like that! It's just...well…

\--- **It's that you really resemble that man right now** , insisting you enjoy black coffee, while staring down any sweets in the vicinity. That adorable way you pretend to be a 'real' adult, too, it's just like he was." 

I twitch.

She's right, after all. When is she not. I knew that comment would come soon enough, with how I looked. My hair is tied back, I'm in his old coat, and I'm hunched over a cup of coffee, all that's missing is a laptop at my side. But, it's not my appearance that led her to say that. No, she's noticed something else entirely.

Her laughter dies down after a moment, and her expression changes to one of...pity, I'd like to say. A face totally unbefitting of the outgoing Da Vinci, but one that shows our secret mutual pain.

"Ritsuka-chan."

I look away, refusing to answer her. She continues on anyway.

"...It's alright if you don't want to talk, but it would be good for you."

If I could produce cricket noises right now, I would gladly do so. I don't want to have this conversation yet. Even after so long, I'm not ready to face the reality I live in. Instead, I bring my knees to my chest, and set the cup down onto the table. My rolled up sleeves have fallen down, and I clutch the ends in my hands. It reminds me of someone's grasp, and is all the comfort I have anymore. The one, single thing that keeps the situation from being cemented in my head.

"...I get that you're all here for me, but...without that guy, it doesn't feel like anyone is here at all." I let my true feelings slip. It's well after 5 at this point, people will certainly be waking up soon. I won't have to endure this for much longer. Not much longer, not much longer... Ah, well. Da Vinci wouldn't allow me to escape anyway. I shift my eyes back to hers, blankly staring ahead, and continue speaking.

"I also get that it's been 5 years already, but the pain hasn't gotten any duller, you should know this more than anyone. I do what I can to cope."

That's right. 5 years have passed since the death of Romani Archaman, or should I be calling him Solomon now...No, I'm sure he'd like to continue being called Doctor Roman. Even at 24, I still recall how he insisted on being called by that nickname. Cool and romantic, he said it was. But I can't bring myself to say it out loud, so I carry on referring to him indirectly.

Da Vinci places her own cup onto the table, next to mine, and leans forward. She rests her chin in her hands, still looking at me with that awful expression plastered across her face. I hate it. I hate being pitied. I hate being treated like a fragile little flower even after all this time. I won’t fight back, though, because…..because Da Vinci has also been through this sort of pain. Ignoring that is forbidden, for she also hasn’t gotten over his death. Maybe I’m the only one who’s bad at hiding that.

Ahh, damn, why am I even letting this slip out right now. “Don’t think about it too much, Da Vinci-chan, I’ll be fine. I just need to do this occasionally, that’s all-” 

The woman in front of me slams her hands onto the table and stands up with a start.

“No, no you’re not fine, Ritsuka-chan!” She yells at me, and I instinctively shrink further back into the coat. 

“You’re not fine, I’m not fine, we’ll never be fine! Why are you always like this, shrugging off any comfort I try and offer you, and then going back to your room to cry! I don’t understand it...I’ve known you for 7 years now, and you still don’t trust me enough to open up even a little…?” In an instant, her expression changes to one of regret, and she slowly sits back down, hands together in her lap. Even Da Vinci has her moments, I guess…

“...I’m...sorry about that, Ritsuka-chan. Really, I had no reason to yell at you, I just...don’t know what to do.” Now she’s the one who can’t look me in the eye.

Uncurling my legs, I again reach for the coffee, but my hands instead drift towards the cake nearby. It’s quite pretty, EMIYA is always a stickler for details. The strawberries are cut cleanly, and the one on top is a beautiful shade of solid red. With the clean white frosting, it’s as picturesque as a cake can be. Calling it anything less than perfect would be a disgrace. 

The fork sinks into the strawberry on top with ease, but I don’t bring it to my mouth. I sit there, twirling the utensil around, admiring the way the fluorescent lights above shine so nicely on the skin.

“I’m not mad, after all, December is creeping closer.” And with it brings painful memories.

There are no trees near Chaldea, being situated on the top of a mountain, but my mind wanders back to my home in Japan. The leaves will have already changed their colors, and the air is certainly sharper than normal. All of those stray cats you would typically find wandering around will start to stay inside nearby shrines in preparation for the incoming winter. There weren’t many holidays we observed, besides the Emperor’s birthday, so the only thing to look forward to was the new year steadily making its way here. In Chaldea, though, things like Christmas and Thanksgiving were actively celebrated, due to the sheer amount of cultures found in the servants and staff.

But I can’t seem to enjoy Christmas anymore, not after that fateful day 5 years prior.

Who knew the death of one man would change my outlook on life so deeply. The wonderful, kind Doctor Roman, stolen from this world too soon. And, he knew….he knew! He knew this was to be his fate, yet he still...he still spent those days with me. Gentle, sweet, and...a bit of a coward. The Doctor Roman I loved, who I would never again see. He died on Christmas day, 2018, and left me alone forever. As the days creep closer, those of us who were close to him grow tenser. Da Vinci would have never had such an outburst if that weren’t the case.

“---Ah,” I’ve been thinking too much, and I must look rather silly, staring at the strawberry on my fork for about 3 minutes now. “My mind got a little sidetracked there… 

It’s Da Vinci’s turn to assure me things are fine. “You looked so deep in thought, I guess I didn’t want to bother you. Though - your coffee’s gone cold by now.”

She’s right once again, but I place the plate back on the table, and take a sip anyway.

“It’s just awful, you know.”

“Hmm? What is, Ritsuka-chan?”

“Black coffee.”

“...Yes, yes it is. That’s why I’ve always felt it’s best served with something sweet on the side.” Aha. So she’s the one who introduced him to that tradition of his. Black coffee, with a slice of shortcake on the side on Fridays. Sometimes I felt like that was all that kept him going through the week.

“...By the way, thank you, but I can’t have this” I down the rest of the coffee and look at her with a strained smile. It’s all I can manage.

“After you spent all that time playing with it, too...ah, but, I understand. You haven’t eaten sweets for years now.” 

“It doesn’t feel right, having cake without the Doctor with us.” Even if I did eat it, I doubt it would taste as good as it would with him by my side.

Besides, he never did get to fulfill that promise of his.

I get up, and make my way to the nearby door. It’s 5:55 now, and the servants are starting to stir. As the Master of Chaldea, I have a job to do at all times of the day. Da Vinci merely waves me off, not needing to say anything. It was only for a while, but just having her around was enough to calm me down. As I make my way down the hall, I again glance at the familiar sealed-off room to my right. Doctor Roman’s former office, closed up after his death. There’s a wreath of flowers hanging on it that gets changed once a week.

I smile softly, and continue walking.

“---Yeah, I’ll keep waiting. So...make sure to come home for cake and coffee one day, alright, Doctor?”


End file.
